Can I Change My Marriage?

Can I Change My Marriage?

Dear Dr. Michele,

I’m stuck in an emotionless and sexless marriage. Am I doomed to stay like this forever, or is there something else I can do to change this?

Hello,

Thank you for sending me your question. I can’t tell you what “else” to do because I do not know what you have done so far. Families are as healthy as a marriage and marriages as healthy as each individual. If there are addictions, control or abuse, neglect, narcissism, or past wounds that are unresolved, then the foundation of an individual is cracked and he or she needs individual healing before marriage counseling begins.

After each person receives healing on their own, you can then build marriage skills like communication, learning to hear and validate each other, conflict resolution skills, and how to understand and meet each other’s needs. By the two sentences that you stated, I would have to say, you are not having your needs meet which at the least, is an emotional abuse system that is in need of professional help and counseling.  If both people are willing, the marriage can be healed and with help you can learn and apply tools and biblical principles into your relationship skills.

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge…” Hosea 4:6

You need biblical life and relationships skills to have a healthy identity of yourself and healthy relationships. Please check out the videos on this site, especially one on marriage counseling, as well the blogs to help you gain knowledge and give you hope that your marriage can be restored. If you would like further help, please call me at 904-730-0775. I hope this has been helpful and I encourage you to find help, at least for yourself, and hopefully your marriage.

Dr. Michele